massageplanet
New member
- User Rating
- review
- 1.Tons of options
2.Includes blog
3.Easy to register
4.Too many flashing ads
Massage the Earth! After I finish slapping my meat stick, I frequently start thinking about my followers. Poor beta bastards; I pity you. Even if it's true that you never bone girls or that you're such a sad and lonely guy, that's not the reason. The reason is that you'll never understand what it's like to be me playing pocket pool. I'm an expert at masturbation.
The Jerky Giant
For Christ's sake, my name is The Porndude. How skilled do you think I am at masturbation? I am the best there is, period. I am the best at massaging my twig and berries. As you are all aware, I still bang whores every day, but to be honest, my hand feels better than most vaginas. It may not be as appealing as a tight-bodied prostitute, but it performs far better than any gash could.
You would all spend the rest of your lives trailing me around, begging for a second handjob if I gave you one. Guys, I apologize. I'm sorry to say that you'll never receive a hand job from me. Having only touched one penis, this hand is now headed to the grave. It belongs to me.
But there is a method to get an old-fashioned hand job that is nearly as fantastic as mine. The only thing is that you will need to become a lot more at ease with yourself than you are right now. I'm aware that my fan's expertise is not in self-knowledge. Everyone of you lives in the fictional universe of your choice. A skilled full-service masseuse can provide you with a happy conclusion as you enter the real world.
Who Does It Best?
I have an honesty exam for you. Your honesty to me, your family, your friends, or humanity in general is not the issue. It evaluates how honest you are to yourself. When you think about sensual massages, what are the first things that come to mind? Take a moment to jot down a short list.
Got it? Are you referring to Asians? If you said no, congrats on continuing to be a loser. It's not surprising that you guys are experts at fooling yourselves. My followers are only able to get out of bed in the morning because of a complex web of lies that they tell themselves. The overwhelming extent of your own deficiency would be intolerable if not for that.
The reality is that Asian ladies handle cocks better than anybody else. For local full-service massage therapists, go to Massage Planet. They have a group of attractive Asian prostitutes prepared to penetrate your underground and make you orgasm. It doesn't matter whether you like to explore further toward Korean, Thai, and Japanese prostitutes or if you like the prostitutes of the Middle Kingdom. You'll discover a fantastic full-service masseuse or Massage Planet.
Massage Planet is renowned for its Asian women who are fiercely committed to the penis and possess a delectable erotic talent. They have a certain innocent charm that may disarm any man. Anyone could be brought to the verge of orgasm by the combination of almond eyes, trim figure, and either porcelain or light caramel complexion. With a microscope and telescope, you should aim to examine every inch of these women's vaginas.
You'll appreciate Massage Planet's variety of Asian massage therapists if you're the sort who enjoys women who can assist you set up a tent. Your tent will be completely erected. You'll retract your dick in no time after seeing this bitch's delicate hands.
Not the Newspaper Classifieds of Your Grandmother
On Massage Planet, you may locate the perfect rub and tug combination. An online classifieds site that only lists comprehensive Asian massage services is called Massage Planet. Ignoring all the ads for white women on a website with a narrower focus won't make you feel racist anymore.
My readers will recognize Asianladies instantly. In essence, it's a website that sells massages. You can scroll as if you were on Redtube or Youporn. However, you may go to the cuns rather than just seeing them.
I must discuss the layout before I can discuss what makes Massage Planet such a fantastic full-service massage website. There's a lot of turmoil. Consider the scenario where Tokyo and Las Vegas gave birth to a child who went on to create neon signs and establish pornography websites. The place looks like that.
Design
The front page's top is filled with glamorous advertisements showcasing the various women available to jerk you off for a few dollars. It makes me think of dishonest online gambling websites that attempt to get your financial information. Fortunately, Massage Planet made this choice for aesthetic reasons rather than with the intention of obtaining your identification. Massage Planet is well conscious that you deviant fucks lack any cash to steal.
The main menu, which is located at the top, offers the choices Home, Forums, What's new, Classifieds, 411, Groups, Awards, Confessions, Ads Manager, Log in, Reg411, Customize the Layout, and Light mode.
A dropdown menu with the options is the novelty. Latest news, recent posts, current classifieds, current article comments, and current articles.
You may make your own ad on Massage Planet if you want to experiment with dressing like an Asian woman and pleasing men. The choices You ads, Your invoices, and Create ad are available under the drop-down menu for the ads manager.
It's quick and simple to create ads, and it's a surefire way to attract clients. Well, actual Asian massage therapists for sure, but not you in particular.
In the past, the 4-1-1 used to represent the most recent information for the younger staff. Therefore, 411 offers the choices of New Articles, New Comments, and Series.
Signing up for a Massage Planet account is really quick. Choose a username and password to begin with. Then, enter the kind of massage you like, your date of birth, and your place. Sport massage, Thai massage, hot stone, acupuncture, Reiki, reflexology, Swedish, and Shiatsu are your possibilities.
As you may have seen, the list does not include handjobs. Lest The Man comes and tries to shut it down, Massage Planet cannot be too obvious about their real aims. Only when there is a lot of suffering does the Man experience orgasm, and he detests having fun.
On Massage Planet, some of the currently featured advertisements are listed below the main menu. Forever Spa, Purple List, Soul Relax Spa, Aroma Spa, Sparkling Spa, Top Day Spa, and Green Creek are just a few of the masters of the hand job included.
A tag cloud with terms like Asian, Available, Deep tissue, Full body, Mobile, Relaxation, and RMT may be seen to the right of the highlighted locations.
The typical ads appear to stretch on forever below the highlighted websites. All of them are brightly colored, and many of them have flash animation.
It does, though, come to a halt at some point and proceeds to the shout box. This is the place where marketers can keep Massage Planet users informed about the most recent happenings.
To illustrate, there are five females on Spring Green today. Everyone enjoys variety. Kitty, Kandy, and Amy are the three women at my little house today. The Punjabi lovelies at Massage 555 are at work.
The most recent postings are located at the next level down. This includes advertisements for massage parlors and user requests. Someone asking whether Trump supporters have already blown their load, as well as searching for ebony sluts, are examples of such requests. I'm not sure why anyone would want to question a group of horny betas on Massage. Ask that to the planet, but whatever. Every kind is necessary.
We are now at Massage Planet Chat. What degree of solitude must one experience in order to engage in conversation on a website for a full-service massage business? That's the lowest point we've ever reached. This is neither Instagram nor FaceBook. In essence, it's an escort website. Try to make friends outside of your daily life.
Educate yourself
The Massage Planet blog is coming up next. The blog is a great place to get acquainted if you've never visited a full-service massage establishment. It's important to avoid saying the wrong thing or drawing false conclusions. Allow other Massage Planet members to help you on your quest to sex an Asian girl.
The massive front page includes a list of Massage Planet reviews. The majority of people, as you may expect, have positive things to say about the location. The findings are difficult to dispute. What is there to grumble about if your balls are completely empty?
Last but not least, the most recent classifieds are featured in the final part of the Massage Planet homepage. This is what you look up first if you visit the site often. I'd hate for you to fall behind and miss out on the freshest sluts.
It's improbable that you guys will ever persuade a woman to have sex with you. If you want to have your penis stroked, you'll need to pay. At Massage Planet, there are lots of low-cost massage therapists available to massage you into heaven.
The only thing I dislike about Massage The planet is just a bunch of glitzy commercials. It will most likely cause headaches in readers who are easily offended and it looks horrible.
Get on Massage Planet right now because there's no better moment to get jerked off.