- User Rating
- review
- 1.Athletic body from kite surfing
2.Perky C-cups
3.Shows off her flat but fuckable ass
4.Needs to show off those tits more
Get ready to be totally bonerfied by Maika Monroe. With all the finesse of a glitter bomb, this busty blonde stunner burst onto the scene. Monroe has a talent for seeming unfairly beautiful, regardless of whether she is simply living her life or fleeing from supernatural beings. But don't despise her just because she's attractive. I despise her because she won't sleep with you. However, I think she'll screw me over. Let's dive into the life of this 10, who makes it seem like nines just came out of a trash can.
Too Heavy
No doubt you've seen Maika Monroe's scrumptious balloons on screen. However, the fact is that our girl suffers from a textbook case of everything above the waist and nothing below.
She's definitely killing it with those C cups. In her films, they truly steal the show and almost merit their own Oscar. What about the stuff in the trunk, though? Crickets. It's as if her rear chose to go on a prolonged holiday and never returned.
We're not engaging in body shaming here. This sort of construction is popular with many of my followers. You do you, Maika. However, let's assume that she ever chooses to remake Baywatch; she may want to invest in some butt cushions. Or perhaps initiate a trend for Squats for Starlets workouts. Simply an idea.
Wear clothes to erect.
Maika has to be given credit for being able to draw attention to a dick without much effort. She's that effortlessly cool pal who can hop out of bed and still be just as attractive as anyone else.
Monroe exudes a carefree sensuality that can make you get aroused without even realizing your bulge, whether she's wearing a slinky red carpet gown or simply relaxing in her pajamas. A hint of midriff here, a low neckline there—it's all in the details. Not too blatant; just enough to pique your interest and make you question what you're missing.
And let's discuss those premiere looks. She manages to achieve the elusive mix between elegance and being a fantastic fucking God. You can't help but wonder, Damn, I wish I could pull that off. By that, I mean take her dress off, not try to put it on yourself. Please refrain from doing that... I mean, unless you're very motivated.
From Catching Waves on the Silver Screen to Kite Surfing
In fact, this blonde bombshell began by catching waves of a different sort. Young Maika was a professional kiteboarder before she was turning heads on red carpets. That's correct, while you were attempting to perfect the skill of not tumbling on your face in front of attractive women, she was flying through the air with effortless grace.
Our girl Maika, though, wasn't satisfied with just being a great athlete. She had to be stunningly beautiful, though. and a really good actress. Right? There are folks who simply can't help but excel. Without a doubt, you are not those sorts of individuals. I am familiar with my audience.
Her transformation from beach babe to hot screen babe was as effortless as a newly waxed surfboard. It's not surprising that Hollywood came calling to her given her sun-kissed hair and kind brown eyes. She responded with a vengeance, quickly becoming a hit in both indie favorites and blockbuster movies.
It Follows: A Breakthrough Role
Even if you believe you've seen every horror movie cliché in the book, Maika Monroe arrives nonetheless. It makes you doubt all you previously believed about scream queens. Monroe went from Who's this bitch? to Where's my fucking lube? in a flash thanks to this 2014 supernatural thriller. Do not turn around!
Monroe's depiction of Jay, the film's tormented leading lady, is a masterclass in rendering utter dread attractive enough to masturbate to. You will be pulled between wanting to defend her and wondering if she would ever think about getting coffee with you (you know, after the entire persistent force attempting to murder her thing has passed).
The majority of my audience members resemble sweaty disasters after even a little jogging. However, what about Monroe? She manages to sprint away from an unseen pursuer while retaining a flawless radiance that would make even magazine covers that have been airbrushed envious. You could nearly support the monster at this point. Almost.
You'll get fat from The Guest.
I'm sure you guys are familiar with the scene from The Guest when Maika Monroe's character is just relaxing in bed. If not, your basement bedroom is about to become rather steamy. Imagine this: our girl Maika is lounging around like a lazy cat, wearing a relaxed tee that has likely seen better days. I wish I was that shirt.
Hold on to your hats, people, because beneath that well-worn shirt is the pièce de résistance: a pair of polka-dotted, canary yellow undies that would make Minnie Mouse blush. Maika's lower half seems to have been chosen as the residence of a sunbeam, and to be honest, I'm not upset about it. I take a firm approach to it.
You might think relaxing is simple, but Maika turns it into an art. She's not only laying there; she's living with the sort of effortless grace that makes you question if you've been doing this whole relaxing thing wrong all your life. The thought of buying nothing but huge tees and silly underpants is enough to make you want to throw out your girlfriend's whole wardrobe.
It Follows It Follows Would Make Me Erect
After seeing Maika Monroe's performance in It Follows, you'll want to start a little love session in private. She looks great in both a bikini and underpants, even as a shapeshifting creature pursues her. That's multitasking, all right. I'll be multitasking as well, watching this movie while flicking my dick tip.
Despite the fact that Jay, Monroe's persona, is often seen in different stages of undress throughout the film, don't be misled. The nudity is tasteful gratuitous nudity, not the kind you usually see. That's what I tell myself, at least. You'll be cheering for her to defeat the beast while also complimenting her flawless selection of underwear. It's similar to a Victoria's Secret runway show with The Ring.
Jay is wearing a retro-style bikini that would make Annette Funicello envious when she's not lazing around in her undies. However, in contrast to those old beach party films, Monroe's swimsuit moments focus less on innocent enjoyment and more on battling a supernatural STI.
Bokeh in the Background
For me, any film in which Maika Monroe's outfit falls to the ground is acceptable. You didn't request this cinematic striptease, but in some ways, you did. Maika will only be welcome on screen if she intends to flaunt her wares, as made evident by the audience. You get a peek at her underwear as the fabric peels off. There's more, though.
Maika chooses to give it her all right as the show comes to an end. Indeed, the underwear make a dramatic exit stage left. Maika Monroe's naked butt, gleaming like a beacon of... well, nudity, is right there in all its splendor. Even though her butt isn't big, you'll still want to fuck it.
You may be asking yourself, Is this art? Is this pornography? Since discovering that additional fried item at the bottom of the bag, is this the most thrilling thing I've seen? Yes, dear reader, is the answer. Every aspect of it is agreed upon.
Men are enthralled by Maika Monroe when she undresses to her birthday attire. Because you won't be blinking for a while, I hope you have some Visine available.
Thankful for Greta
In a film, who doesn't appreciate a nice, old-fashioned, gratuitous training sequence? The protein shake is taken during Maika Monroe's sweat session in Greta. Consider this scenario: Our blonde bombshell is hard at work burning calories while wearing a sports bra that is tighter than your Spanx and leggings that would make the inventor of Lulu Lemons crap his pants.
You can't help but wonder if the majority of the movie's budget went toward baby oil when Maika is pumping iron and stretching in positions that would make a contortionist envious. Her toned arms appear capable of punching creeps and opening tough pickle jars with equal proficiency, and her glistening abs could probably hold a gallon of baby batter.
Nobody really looks that good when working out. You would likely have a revoked membership and a restraining order if you attempted to replicate this scenario in your neighborhood gym. However, in Hollywood, the allure is that even exercising makes you seem like you're on the cover of a health publication. Maika Monroe, who has us clutching our group barbells with each flawless lunge.
Who Struck It?
Take a peek at who managed to grab a piece of the cream pie of Hollywood news. You could expect Maika Monroe's love life to be a revolving door of the most eligible men in Hollywood, but you'd be mistaken. Behold Dalton Gomez, the charming real estate broker who seems to have replaced his Thank U, Next playlist with some Monroe charm.
You did hear me correctly. The same man who was formerly Mr. Ariana Grande is now getting close to our favorite scream queen. He's offering million-dollar homes one minute, and then he's posing with Monroe the next. Real estate can't be glamorous, according to whom?
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